#24. When you are 80 years old, what will matter to you the most?

Another one of these dreaded ‘future me’ questions. My irrational somewhat hatred for the future is unexplainable and is completely irrational yet it still exists. I’d rather adopt a pragmatic approach to life rather than ‘bog myself down’ in a rigid life plan I devised aged 10.

 

Perhaps this is why I always feel so resistant to answer these types of questions – they impose some sort of rigidity in my life, something that I will ultimately measure my life up to. Do I want that? Not particularly. I don’t think anyone would want to live their life in constant fear of not reaching their fixed, rigid goals. Would I wish I had done just that aged 80? Who knows? I could be pessimistic and say I might not even reach age 80. At least then I would be saving myself the potential constant feelings of regret whenever I reminisce about my former younger stubborn self because you know, I’ll cease to exist.

 

I suppose if I had to choose something, despite how cliché it is, my education is the thing that matters to me the most right now [comes with being a student I guess]. I was quick to think that once I hit 80 [or even before that, maybe when I ‘stop’ being a student] this priority will cease to exist. However I don’t actually think that’s true; with age comes wisdom of course, but not ultimate wisdom surely? My grandparents are still learning things now, developing in their old age. I’ve never seen my grandma so proud of herself when she finally managed to learn how to use her phone efficiently and un-aided.  Being able to ‘keep up’ with the world will always be one of my priorities I think, I always want to know everything – I hope age won’t halt this desire.

#23. Are you holding on to something you need to let go of?

Sure, yet to an extent I think everyone is regardless of whether or not they want to admit it. Should I let it go? Perhaps, but I don’t think I can. Not yet at least.  2015 has yet to end and my naïve, optimistic side is making me cling to the idea that there’s still time for things to escalate or happen. Wishful thinking I know.

 

The next thirty days I’ve decided are crucial; if nothing happens between now and the end of 2015, I’ll let it go – it can be my one and only New Year’s resolution. If it’s successful is another matter, but I deserve some credit for at least thinking it…?

#18. Is it possible to lie without saying a word?

I automatically thought of romantic relationships when I read the statement, surprising myself considering I am anything but a relationship expert. Yet I suppose it’s only in close [romantic] relationships where there is perhaps no need for physical words – partners can read their other half’s body language and gestures. Yet, regardless, we can read our fellow human beings so horribly incorrectly or wishful thinking can blind a person from the obvious.

 

Perhaps I just have a cynical perspective of relationships; like the majority, I’ve had negative experiences of relationships and after watching numerous episodes of Jeremy Kyle, my faith in relationships is probably diminishing rather rapidly. It is ridiculously easy to manipulate a significant other without having to utter a single no – a simply hug in time of need can be as powerful as a spoken ‘I love you’ and can be interpreted as such, rightly or wrongly. No words spoken can be as brutal as an unfortunate verbal response. Better to be clear with physically spoken words rather than relying on the other party to eventually ‘get it’ on their own.